Friday, March 26, 2010

i'm stupid. you're stupid. we've all been stupid!

this isn't calling you stupid. okay so maybe it totally is....
it's just that IIIII was stupid too!!!
i thought, or wanted to believe, that i loved many people....
i think it was part of my whole codependency thing.
i found someone who needed help.
thought i loved them.
thought they loved me.
thought i could change them.
thought they would LOVE ME enough to change for me.
realized they weren't going to change.
realized i couldn't change them.
realized i couldn't SAVE them.
realized i didn't LOVE them....
and had "the most painful breakup ever."
it was only painful, because i was stupid (or not right in the head.)
because if i WAS right in the head, the breakup wouldn't be painful.
in fact, i probably wouldn't have been in the relationship to begin with, which would have meant there wouldn't have been a breakup, which meant it REALLY wouldn't have been painful.
either way, i was stupid.
i can still be very stupid at times, but i'm not NEARLY as stupid as i have been most of my life.
i've got a heart of gold.
and most of you do too....
you've just got to focus that heart of gold on YOU before you go trying to focus it on everyone else....
trust me.
focusing on other people may distract you, but it's not healthy....
and no you're not being super loving and caring.
you're being STUPID....

you're not IN LOVE....
you're INSECURE....

i'll share with you some extremely stupid stories about how extremely STUPID i was in my past....

naive stupid mostly.
crazy stupid a lot of times.
but mostly naive stupid.
and then i thought i was "forgiving" when the stupid guys would do something stupid,
but i wasn't "forgiving".... i was just being even more stupid because i was too weak to let go....
i thought i would be failing at something.
something STUPID.

so follow along on this stupid journey,
if you yourself are stupid.
if you know someone stupid,
or if you just want to hear stories about how STUPID i was....

2 comments:

buymebarbies said...

Everyone loves stupid stories of truth!! Especially when it is someone else and they can relate in some way!!!

Mainland Streel said...

I agree! I love these stories because I identify with them. We've all been stupid at some point, and this is good therapy. :)