Saturday, June 5, 2010

part 8.... the end.

the beginning of mr clean







I need to wrap this up.

i was working 40+ hours a week....
linedancing whenever i could....
doing everything in my power to stay away from the house.
younger sister and i went to texas (riverwalk) and had an amazing time! (while still under the same lease as mr clean)....

during that time,
mr clean packed up his stuff (and stole some of mine)
and had a few friends come help take his stuff to his new place....
i came home and THOUGHT most of the stuff was gone,
however after staying up until WEEEEEE hours of the morning moving shit over to the new place,
i quickly realized it was not anywhere close to being done.
i had to throw SO much of his shit away!!!
but some biiig stuff too.
it wasn't easy.
15 gigs of porn and i have somehow managed to remain friends after all of the years that had passed in between.
he offered to help me move shit.
i accepted. still stupid obviously.
he came over and had been drinking and wasn't much of a help, although he did help load a few boxes... i should have known he would do more harm than good.
(meaning he just slowed me down, and NOTHING else....)

i remember moving shit by myself, and with some help from one of my maintenance guys (from the property i worked at)....
we seriously moved shit until 2, 3 and 4 in the morning for days.... after having worked until about 6 pm.
the parents came by one of the last days to help me.
they always come through.
very appreciative for that!!

i remember the first night i stayed in the new place....
it was beautiful....

i was in heaven.
the first few nights were lonely....
but it was beautiful.
i was on the creek still....
even more enjoyable....
it was like a huge grassy backyard.... and there were frogs....
and ducks.... and beautiful night skies....
well lit....
stars everywhere....
the moon was big and bright!
i knew i could get used to this,
however, not without a few slip ups....

his new place wouldn't take his dog.
so i volunteered to watch her for a few weeks....
we got into a HUGE fight, i don't even know what it was about....
but i told him he had better come get his stupid dog....
he called the cops BEFORE he even got to my house!!!!
the cops came to the apartment before he did.
i wasn't there....
he said he wasn't coming....
cops seriously called my cell phone.... threatening me that i was holding his dog hostage and blah blah blah.
REALLY?!
WHY in the FUCKING WORLD would i hold his stupid ass smelly dog hostage??
i surely didn't want anything more to do with him....
but FUCK i was soo pissed.
i really thought it would be in my best interest not to return to the apartment with a dickface officer (hmmm, most of them are) and a dickface of an ex....
i usually don't EVER find myself upset with officers, but sometimes their damn attitude is SICKENING!!!! they act like they RULE the freakin world, and the sad thing is, is that they really kind of do!
ugh.
don't get me going off on that one....
cuz i can....

there were a few separate occasions that he has asked to spend time with me.
to go to dinner.
to come walk the dogs on the beach with him.....
i'd accepted dinner.... once.
i'd accepted the dog walking on the beach once....
until i got there....
and realized that it was NOT headed in the right direction....
all of me felt like i wouldn't want anyone in the world knowing i was there....
and as "innocent" as dogwalking could be, i knew his intention was more at that moment....
and i left....
and i went back on a few separate occasions and again left shortly after arriving...
i don't know why i kept visiting, but i did....
and NO, we weren't hooking up!!!!

i don't know what i had kept hoping to find....
an entirely different person there each time i went?
perhaps....
who knows....
but, i came around....

i began to stand alone....
(well, slightly leaning on my parents still).... but in my own place....
working again.
going at everything, full force.... again....

and that, my dear friends, is when Jason came back into my life....
when i was standing alone (or as alone as i'd ever stand, alone) again....
when i'd least expected to find another soul in this world.....
when i'd finally accepted my life "as-is" ....
there he was....

it took me a while to finally convince mr clean that i was done.
he'd call soooo much.
he'd text sooo much in the beginning of mine and jason's relationship....
i was still a bit stupid, because i felt like i should somehow help mr clean heal from the "heartache" i'd caused him....

and one day, i just woke up....
and there was,
no more,
mr clean.....



4 comments:

buymebarbies said...

I just wonder what he's doing now!! Did he move back to where "the" girlfriend is? Is he still in the same place he was back then? Did he realize what he did and how bad he screwed up? I NEVER liked him, but somehow you got talked into moving in with him!! UGH!!! What a waste of oxygen....

Ms. Anthropy said...

I found my "Keeper" in much the same way!

Marlene said...

I'm happy for you - that you got rid of the dickhead...

but a little sad that this "series" has ended. It was good reading!!!

John McElveen said...

"we got into a HUGE fight, i don't even know what it was about....
but i told him he had better come get his stupid dog...."


YOU AND THE DOG???? I'm confused...???

How's my fav girl. I'm kinda mad at you though..........


never a call to help downloa...take the Porn.... the Heavy stuff off your hands..

GiagaBITE-- sounds like a hackers Porn movie doesn't it?

seriously- I don't do porn--is that weird...I mean I LIKE it--but the wife is like a hawk...just kidding, no I'm not, yes I am,

Who am I kidding...wait this is about you....

But hardcore porn just doesn't EVEN let the mind work which is soooo powerful. Anyone that wants to watch--Wonderful--it's just my old age I guess, and I do have to hold myself...oh that sounds bad....

This is what turns most people off, (Christian wise--it sounds so condescending, but It's important to me...) but As a Christian I have to take a stand and NOT compromise on certain things..Porn is one of them.

But anyway--did you kick the shit outta the dog? I hope you won! NOT that I'm into Animal cruely, or Bandage--OK maybe a spatula....
Shut up John..


Love ya tons,

John

PS: Hope this silliness made you smile!!!!