Thursday, April 15, 2010

baby daddy. pt 1

so, i'm certain SO many people are curious as to what ever happened with taylor's "dad" and i....

here goes the entire history of it all.... (for all you nosey people out there).... ;)

we worked together at a shoe store right out of high school. dated for about 6 months and BAM!!! pregnant. totally not planned. not expected. i was HIGHLY in denial and found out i was pregnant at about week 10 (about 2 and a half months) or so....

i remember feeling sick, peeing multiple times a night, puking my brains (and guts) out.... and STILL not believing i was pregnant until the dr came in and said, "hun, you're pregnant! that's what's wrong with you!" (after my pee in the cup thing)....

WHAT?!!!!!! WHAAAAAT?!!!!!

of COURSE abortion crossed my mind. i had THREE jobs at the time. i didn't have a relationship with God. I had 3 classes (9 units), my own apartment, a new car (with car payments).... i had a freakin BUSY ASS LIFE!!!!! "baby" fit NO where in that equation.... NO WHERE.... unless i MADE it fit....

from the VERY SECOND he told me i was pregnant, all of my insides sank....
and they sank, because i knew that i was going to have to eventually tell all of my family, and disappoint them, because there was no way that i could go through with an abortion.... (now i'm not going to go into my beliefs and feelings on this topic, because it's like politics and all and i KNOW everyone feels differently about this.... and i promise to never judge ANYONE on this, because it's not my place and well, everyone has a different life and situation) now with that being said, i just couldn't find it in my heart to go through with this.... i KNEW that my ENTIRE life was about to change....

i was sick. my mom called me daily.... i told her i needed her to come over so that i could talk to her. i found out on february 12th that i was pregnant. i'm pretty sure she came over on the 13th and i told her.... she was certain i wasn't ready for this... and CERTAIN he wasn't either. she said "he's a KID ashley, a KID!!!!!" in my gut (and yes, there was a gut already), i KNEW that the chances of us making it together, for a lifetime, was highly unlikely. i was 18 freakin years old!!!! i made lists of pros and cons.... how this would hurt my life.... and how it would help it.... the cons list far outweighed the pros list.... but the gut feeling was much stronger than the list of cons.... i had 2 weeks to make my decision.... but i pretty much already knew.... i know that everyone was against my decision to keep the baby, initially....

keeping the baby meant that:
1. 2 of the 3 jobs had to go.... i went down to just 1 full time job.... the shoe store. i let the gym and GUESS go.... =(
2. school continued until the semester that I was due, and then would resume the semester after he or she was born.
3. i was far too sick, (and broke and co-dependent) with my mother to live on my own.... i moved back home with my mom.... and thought this was going to be my chance to "save." save what? i thought money at the time.... but i was hardly making anything, so i don't know what i'd planned to save....

i remember going to our workplace on the night of the 12th, in tears.... he took his lunch break and i told him i was pregnant.... (maybe this is why i watch 16 and pregnant and cry.... i can totally relate, except i wasn't 16, but i felt like i was)....

i had to go to the hospital a few times (severe dehydration from hyperemesis "excessive vomitting") i couldn't keep anything down, and i think that everyone pretty much knew i was pregnant. we hadn't told his parents yet, but told his mom after we KNEW we were keeping it. he said "i need to talk to you." she said "ashley's pregnant. isn't she?" she already knew from how sick i'd been.... she knew.... his parents were having a hard time (his dad's an ass), and he wasn't staying at the house. i guess this was the perfect excuse for him to come home and be "one" with the family again.... and that's what he did. both of our families talked it all out. everyone was all negative.... that's what i remember most, but above that, i remember my stepdad (my wonderful stepdad), finally saying, "okay, enough with all the negativity.... it's time to be happy.... congratulations honey!" and he leaned over and hugged and kissed me....

when he did that, it was the first time that i actually felt excited about being pregnant.... it totally changed everyone's tone, and they followed his lead.... i will NEVER EVER EVER EVER forget that as long as i live....

5 comments:

Jenni Newman said...

Is there an "ventured off topic" award I can give you? HA HA, just giving you a hard time. =)

Ashley King said...

hahaha. this is JUST the beginning.... no one knows ANYTHING about him, or us.... what was right or where it went wrong.... it was going to be a long one.... so i am chopping it up.... figured people might actually read it that way. ;)

Ms. Anthropy said...

I just knew we had much more in common. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!!!

Pat Tillett said...

hey! smootch me...

Ashley King said...

Ms Anthropy.... in what ways? there was a whole lot in this story. haha.

Pat, i DO remember that too!!! on the kitchen counter by the sink. awwww hee mee mee.... =)